Great Eastern Dining Room v The Tabernacle

Organising a birthday bash in a restaurant can be devilishly tricky. Ideally the chosen venue should be lively enough so that rowdy groups of ten plus aren’t too conspicuous hence offensive to other diners. It must be affordable so as to not ostracize ones more thrifty/penniless friends and it should either provide late-drinking opportunities or be in a location easily accessible to good bars and clubs.

March must be a popular month for people to be born because over the past couple of weeks all I have seemed to be doing is going to birthdays. Shoreditch, (a suburb of East London) made once ‘hip’ by young British artists seems to be the natural destination for which to commiserate growing older. Despite living nearby I am not its number one fan, especially on the weekend when it seems to metamorphosis into London’s answer to Maguluf. Hoards of Chavs once confined to the bright lights of the West End now infiltrate the streets, the males identifiable by the un-tucked shirt and jeans combo and the girls by the preponderance of white flesh splayed over the top of their too tight jeans.

The Great Eastern Dining Room and The Tabernacle are both located in this neck of the woods and were the chosen venues for festivities. They share a discernible resemblance to one another. In terms of décor both are funky - stripped dark wood floors, low-level lighting and both have the requisite after hours watering holes for some debauchery once the eating bit is over. However whilst they might be within spitting distance of one another they are miles apart in terms of service, atmosphere and to a lesser extent food.

Great Eastern Dining Room the brainchild of Will Ricker (whose mini-empire expands to Cicada, E&O and soon to be revitalised Belsize Tavern) was everything and more you would require for hosting a party. It had a perky atmosphere, a trendy clientele and service that was efficient and amiable. I’m beginning to gush…. and that’s before I get started on the food, which flowed in abundance for the entirety evening and elicited a flurry of superlatives. The pan-Asian dishes were excellently conceived; tuna sashimi as good as anything to be had in a bona-fida Japanese, spare ribs which were succulent and sticky, competent dim sum (notoriously difficult for many kitchens) followed by a selection of curries which might not have been as punchily assertive as the starters yet were eminently enjoyable nonetheless. All this for a paltry £35 per head including wine. Bargain.

In comparison The Tabernacle paled in significance. As a table we collectively ordered the set menu for £28 per head, marginally more expensive than GEDR. Things got off to a good start with an Antipasti plate (shared between the table) comprising: an excellent buffalo mozzarella, mixed charcuterie and fluffy bread. However, out of the four mains listed only two were available - a lamb dish and pasta one, which meant the choice was somewhat limited. The tuna, a replacement for the Sea bass had about as much oomph and personality as Tracey Bingham - nice but not much going on. The pudding - almond cake, shared similar character traits with the tuna so it doesn’t really warrant that much discussion.

To be frank however it was not the food that was the bone of contention. Rather the place itself was devoid of character, strange considering it’s semblance to GEDR. The problem might have lain with the staff and management who gave the impression that customers were somewhat of a secondary consideration even a bit of a nuisance. Examples of this were the rather brusque remarks when I accidentally obstructed the bouncer’s path to the bar. Another when our waiter took an almost vicarious pleasure in declaring half the menu not available and finally being told to vacate our table just as soon we put our dessertspoons down. This was not for the benefit of other diners, rather that the kitchen and wait staff could be relieved of their duties. At 11pm I thought it a bit premature. Furthermore I thought it a bit cheeky that we were charged a fee to gain entry into their shabby little bar downstairs.

Whilst none of the above are colossal wrongdoings they all conspired to create an unfavourable impression. Next time it’s my birthday I know where I’ll be heading…

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